Harvey Guillén: Pride & Fatphobia
Podcast Transcript Season 3 Episode 49
Interviewer: Liz Goldwyn
Illustration BY Black Women Animate
Harvey Guillén is a GLAAD award-winning actor and producer who currently stars as Guillermo on the FX TV show, What We Do In The Shadows. Harvey joined Liz to discuss pansexual vampires; fatphobia in the LGBTQ community; sneaking into the 18+ section of Circus of Books as a teenager; and what his dream Hollywood project is.
The following is a transcript of the interview from the episode:
Liz Intro:
Hello, and welcome to The Sex Ed podcast. I’m Liz Goldwyn, your host and the founder of The Sex Ed, your #1 source for sex, health, and consciousness education. On our website TheSexEd.com, you can read original essays written by our network of experts, watch live talks and videos, listen to past episodes of this podcast, and sign up for our weekly newsletter. You can also follow us on Instagram @TheSexEd.
The Sex Ed is postively orgasmique to be partnered with GUCCI for your listening pleasure on this season of this podcast. That’s right, oh yes, GUCCI baby! We’re so grateful to GUCCI for sponsoring this episode and helping us answer everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask.
Today, my guest is Harvey Guillén. Harvey is a GLAAD-award winning actor and producer who currently stars as Guillermo on the FX TV show, What We Do In The Shadows. Harvey joined me to discuss pansexual vampires; fatphobia in the LGBTQ community; sneaking into the 18+ section of Circus of Books as a teenager; and what his dream Hollywood project is.
Liz:
We both dressed up for this. I like it.
Harvey:
I like that we got dressed up for just talking.
Liz:
I know. Well, you've probably been doing a lot of publicity because the new season of your show is out. So, you've probably had to get dressed a lot in this quarantine.
Harvey:
I did, I did. One day, I actually felt the need to get dressed four times because I had four different kind of Zoom and Skype meetings. And I was like, "Well, I probably shouldn't wear the same thing, right?" So, I wore four different shirts. I didn't wear any pants at all, so...
Liz:
Is that vintage? Is that a vintage shirt?
Harvey:
It looks vintage, right?
Liz:
Yeah.
Harvey:
But it's not. I just like the pattern. It looks like a '60s bowling shirt.
Liz:
It's very Jetsons. I like it.
Harvey:
Yeah, that's what it is.
Liz:
You grew up in LA, right?
Harvey:
Mm-hmm (affirmative), born and raised.
Liz:
Where? Whereabouts?
Harvey:
I was born in Orange County, but whenever I say that people think, "Oh, Orange County, like Laguna." And it's like, "No, the other side of the tracks." I grew up in Santa Ana. And then it got a little too dangerous and we moved from there to the San Gabriel Valley. And then we moved from there to short-lived time in the Inland Empire. And my dad worked for a construction company, so we just moved a lot when I was little because wherever the job was. So, when Vegas was booming, we moved to Vegas for a whole year.
Liz:
And then did you go to high school in Los Angeles?
Harvey:
In Los Angeles, yeah. I went to San Gabriel High School, which is not too far from where my mom still lives. So, she's still out there.
Liz:
And your parents... Are you first generation? California?
Harvey:
Yep, first generation.
Liz:
Where are your parents from?
Harvey:
My mom is from Mexico. And my dad actually passed away when I was about nine months old, but he was from Mexico as well. And my stepdad is also from Mexico. And yeah, so they're all from Mexico.
Liz:
What part of Mexico?
Harvey:
My mom was... she was born in Sinaloa which if... You know anything about the goings of Mexico, it's kind of in the middle of the cartel triangle.
Liz:
And I heard that you grew up being obsessed with musical theater.
Harvey:
Yeah. I guess the first time I realized I wanted to be an actor was when I was watching Annie. And I was about five or six. And it was the Christmas break, so we were home. And I thought Annie was a TV show because it was on TV and I didn't know how things worked. And I was watching Annie and I told my mom, I said, "Mom, I want to be that. I want to be an orphan." And she kind of looked at me weird. And I was like, "What?" And she's all, "que?" like, "What are you talking about?" And I was like, "I want to be what those kids are doing. They're dancing. They're singing. And they're having a good time." And she's all, "Oh, no. Es por el ricos. That's for kids who are rich." And I was like, "Rich kids get to play poor orphans on television?" And she was like, "Well, they take training and classes and whatnot." And I was like, "Okay. Well, I'm going to do it." And so, I wanted to become an actor right there and then.
Liz:
What was your favorite song from Annie?
Harvey:
“It's a Hard-Knock Life.” And then just because they had movement, I wanted to do all that because I had chores to do. So, I wanted to pass the time. So, when my mom hat is like, "Clean your room. Clean the backyard." It was like in my head, I was like... Yeah.
Liz:
I feel like it really is helping me when I have to clean the bathroom and vacuum and stuff. I put on like a good playlist and it does help to pass the time. When you can move around, you feel like you're getting a lot of exercise out too.
Harvey:
It does help you pass the time. I have to admit it. It was easier that way.
Liz:
So, who were the actors or comedians that you really related to growing up?
Harvey:
Well, I didn't really see a lot of people who looked like me on television growing up, aside from Spanish TV. And even then, the big guy was always the butt of the jokes. And so, it was never a strong comic lead or strong comedy type that I could really look up to. The ones that I looked up to when I was younger, it was John Belushi and John Candy just because they were on TV and movies and I was like, "Whoa!" And so, I saw myself in them, but not a hundred percent.
Harvey:
I didn't see myself a hundred percent in them because obviously they're Caucasian and I'm Latino, and I was like, "Why isn't there a big guy who's having movies made about him. Why?" So, it was really a pivotal moment when I was like, "Is this possible? Can I do this?" And so, it was like one of those moments where like, "Well, there's no one who looks like you, so then you got to become the fucking first one."
Liz:
That was what you decided when you were a teenager? Or did that thought process come later?
Harvey:
That was later. I think that was probably 11. Yeah. Maybe 11 or 12. And it was just because I didn't see anyone who looked like me. I was really stubborn as a kid. I just remember hearing a lot of no's, and always fighting you on it. If you told me I couldn't do something, if you told me that I couldn't do a cartwheel because I was big, I did a fucking cartwheel. I just didn't like hearing no. I don't like that because I just already had this feeling of the world's against you. Which it wasn't; it was in my head. But to a certain degree, it was just because the expectations and perception, and you're meant to be a statistic. And when you grow up and you're like, "Well, that's your path. It's either that or this." And it's like, "Well, is there something in the middle?" There's a gray area. And so, I'm glad I was stubborn because that could have gone terribly wrong.
Liz:
I feel like comedy is the rawest form of entertainment because... And a lot of comedians they have this... yeah. You're able to take such painful, often tortured moments of life or self-reflection and turn it into art in a way that I don't think you see on almost any other kind of live art form. And was that something that you learned to do early, to kind of make people laugh?
Harvey:
I think comedy, for me, was a way to make friends since I moved a lot. So, when I'd go to a new school, it was like a vaudeville show. First day of school, you're the funny guy and people are like, "I like that guy," and then they sign up for the next viewing. And so, the way I saw it was like it was a traveling show. I had to make a game out of it just because I traveled so much when I was little that every school was a city on my world tour, and it was just like a stop at the city. You become friends with people. They become friends. They become your fans in a way. I had pen pals all through elementary school when I moved, where the whole class would write me letters from the school that I'd just left to the new school that I went to. And then when I left that school, that school would write me letters to the next school.
Liz:
So, you were super popular.
Harvey:
I was popular because of comedy. I feel like it was an easy... People like comedians. I think when people feel comfortable around somebody, they drop their guard, they are more open, they're more willing to accept you. And I think comedy is that window of opportunity to be light. And so, for me, it was that.
But also comedy comes from really sometimes horrible pain. I just remember reading stories on Lucille Ball and I was like, "Oh my gosh, she's so funny. And yet, she had a horrible story, childhood, and her marriage and all that." And I was like, "See, it's like you really got to take what you can out of those horrible moments. You either dwell on those pits or you climb out and keep going towards the light."
Liz:
I didn't know that about Lucille Ball. My grandfather had a troupe of girls kind of modeled after the Ziegfeld girls called the Goldwyn Girls. And she was a Goldwyn girl before she became famous as Lucille Ball.
Harvey:
Oh really?
Liz:
Yeah. And she lived near where I grew up. And I remember my dad, every time we'd pass the house, he'd always be like, "That's where Lucille Ball lives." And Jimmy Stewart lived across the street. I remember that. But I have never read her biography. I didn't know she had a dark history.
Harvey:
Yeah. Well, I mean, her whole marriage to Desi was a whole ordeal. So, that alone was a huge thing. But what a street to live on. I mean, that sounds like I want to live on that street.
Liz:
It was very old-school Hollywood. I mean, I didn't really know who Jimmy Stewart was as a kid. It's just my dad was like, "He's a big famous movie star." But yeah.
So, when did you first get sex ed with all these schools that you were going to? Did you ever have it in school, or was it something you learned from friends?
Harvey:
I did have sex ed when I was in sixth grade. Or fifth grade. Was it fifth grade? Fifth grade. But a year before that, a neighborhood boy... because at this point, we were living in.... Where was it? Rosemead or El Monte? I can't keep track. But it was one of those cities here in LA. And I just remember one of the neighborhood boys stole one of his brother's dirty magazines. And I just remember at that point, I hadn't seen anything that was sexually or the opposite sex. So, it was like this whole mission.
We lived in this area where all the apartments were next to each other, so it was like a little barrio. And we can meet up and go to our hangout, which was where all the broke down cars were. So, all the old Chevy's and stuff that no one was repairing, they were just dumped into this lot that, I don't know who owned that lot, but it was just a whole bunch of cars. And that was our hangout. And we were hanging out there. And he snuck it into his pants. And then everyone huddled around him. And he took it out. And then he opened it. And all the boys were like, "Oh!" And I was like, "What? What?"
I think I was the youngest one in the group because I think those boys were all in, at that point, sixth grade and seventh grade. And I was the youngest one in the group because I was the younger one in the neighborhood. And I was like, "What? What's going on?" So, I saw my first vagina and I was just like, "What?" And they're like, "Yeah!" And it's like, "Yeah! I'm going to... " And they're just saying stuff like, "I'm going to fuck that. I'm going to... " And I was just like, "What? You're going to fuck that?" I had no idea what they were like...
I mean, I knew sex was something that you did as an adult, and I knew that sex was something that everyone talked about, but I think I was so naive. And I think I held onto my childhood as long as I could because I was still playing Power Rangers. I was still trying to just make-believe and putting on shows and stuff. And, for me, that was my focus, and to have someone be like, "Yeah! Look at this!" So, that was my first lesson. And then we officially had the lesson in school, which was nothing... That was like cake. The lesson at school for sex ed was like, "Oh, that's it? That's simple and to the point." The way that I remember learning it, I was just like, "Wow, there's a lot."
Liz:
But at that time, were you touching yourself or masturbating, or was that way, way later?
Harvey:
I was not. I was not doing any of that. And that's the part that really confused me because I thought I was supposed to feel something. I was just like, "Oh." And also the idea that I was looking at this, and then also coming to realization of my queerness, and just being like, "Why isn't this working? What am I supposed to do? What's happening?" For me, it was just like I felt like I was failing. All the other boys were like, "Yeah!" So excited. One of them grabbed and rubbed it on himself. And I was just like, "What's happen... I don't know. Am I supposed to do this? What is... Do you rub the paper on you? That sounds dangerous. It sounds like that would not be a good idea."
I was a total nerd too, so it didn't help. Whenever we chose Power Rangers, I always chose Billy, the blue one. I was just the safe one. I was just like, "Well, it's logical. He has glasses because he needs them."
Liz:
So, how did you kind of start discovering your queerness at that time, if already you're so far away from coming to terms with sexuality?
Harvey:
I think, for me, weirdly enough, it was before that. I remember my first memory of really wanting to hang out with my best friend, who was my neighbor. And we lived to Santa Ana. And we were probably six, I think. And I just remember hanging out with him all the time and loving spending time with him. And I was just like, "I love hanging out with him. And I love hanging... " I mean, at that age, I don't know if you know what that connection is or that that's an attraction or that's what you... You just see them as a best friend. So, when I was six, I was like, "I love hanging out with him."
But I remember that one day I showed up to their house to color, and they had moved away. And they had vanished. And I remember bawling. And I didn't know why I was so hurt. I remember, "Why am I so hurt? People move. I move. People move all the time." But I just remember bawling my eyes out and I didn't understand why. And then later on, I realized "That's why. You had had a connection. And you felt connected to this person. And you were attracted to this person. You didn't know that at six because you couldn't put things together." But now, looking back, I was like, "Oh, no." I was like, "I lost my first probably love at six years old."
Liz:
Oh!
Harvey:
Yeah.
Liz:
I'm sure you could look him up now.
Harvey:
I know.
Liz:
See what's happened to him.
Harvey:
I was like, "Yeah." But yeah, that was a weird... It was a weird time period because it's like you're going to this adolescence and you're looking back at your life and you're "Wait, what does that mean? Did that mean something when you're... Well, no because now we have that magazine that the neighbor boys showed, and that shows that you do like that, right? But you didn't... Did you like it? Because you didn't rub it against yourself and got paper cuts. So, I don't know if you like it."
Liz:
Paper cuts. That sounds painful. So, when was the first time that you saw gay porn? That's my favorite genre personally. I love all the old physique pictorial, 1950s homoerotic zines. I love '70s gay porn. I love all the books that are written about LA, the LA Chicken Hawk scene in the '70s. I love the Tom of Finland Foundation.
Harvey:
Tom of Finland, yeah, I love. The first time I remember looking at that was actually not until high school because I didn't have a computer at home. We were super poor. And I didn't have the easy technology at your fingertips, you know what I mean? So, I didn't have any of that. I didn't have a cell phone. I was literally behind because that was a luxury. And so, I remember with my friends, it was Adriana, Romy, and Tyler, which were my three friends from school. And weirdly enough, without ever saying it, we were all queer. The group of us that hung out together, it was two boys and two girls. And so, people were always like, "Oh, those four." And so, I don't know if they associated us as together as a group or a couple or whatever they want to do. But in a way, it was perfect because all of us in the group were queer and we all went to Circus of Books.
Liz:
Yes! I love Circus of Books.
Harvey:
Yeah. And we went to Circus of Books. And we thought we were so badass. And we thought we were being adults. And this is in high school, where you're not supposed to really be in the 18-or-over section because you're still under 18. And I think that we went there. And I mean, they must know what young 16, 17-year-old kids try to do all the time. And at that age, I think we were passing as we could be 18, but we were barely 18. So, we were just lingering around the area that was like, "Everyone can look at these books," and then just getting closer to that section. And just being like, "Everyone can look at these books," and then it's like, "What's over here? Yeah, look at that. It's a mag. Yeah, that'd be great for my college course that I am in, of course, that I am in college. And I'm here because I'm here for my class in college." And just feeling awkward.
And then slowly, I don't know, it was a second that someone wasn't looking, I snuck in. And I snuck in. And I went in there. And it was just everything at once, just like I heard sounds and I saw faces and things that I was like... It was a lot. It was just a lot. And it was just at once. And so, I kind of was shook for a second. I stood still. And I was just like... But then I had to move out of the way because I was in the threshold of the door where you can see who's going in. So, I was just like, "okay okay okay." And so, I moved to the side. And I was so like, "They're going to catch me. They're going to see me." But then after a while, I was just like, "Okay, let me just look around." And I looked around.
And eventually someone came in, but it was just another person, which was weird because then I realized later on what they were doing. And I think they were cruising. And they were totally walking by. And here's this 15-year-old, rosy-cheeked boy in there. And they kept looking over. And I was like, "Oh my God, they know. They know I'm not 18. They know I'm not 18. He probably works here." And I kept thinking these scenarios in my head like, "He knows that I don't work here. I mean, he knows I'm not 18. And he works here." I can't even talk. Just thinking about it made me flabbergasted, thinking about that scenario again because it brings me back to that moment.
And eventually, I saw what I saw. And I didn't have the courage to pretend to even attempt to buy it because I know I would get caught so I was just like, "This is good. This is good for now. I saw this." And then I exited. And I just felt like I had done something so crazy. When I left, I felt so like, "Wow, I robbed a bank."
Liz:
It's kind of nice though that you discovered... I think pornography gets a lot of heat as very detrimental. I don't necessarily agree with that. I think it's just about giving people agency and emotional intelligence. But when you don't have access to figuring out your sexual identity, and the media you see is not geared towards you, porn, for, in your case, could be really helpful to be like, "Oh, there's other things out there that are okay. There's other people that are attracted to the same type of thing I am into or the same fetish I'm into," where I think, gosh, you don't have magazine stores. Circus of Books is out of business.
Harvey:
Yeah.
Liz:
Sadly.
Harvey:
I feel so bad that the next generation's not going to get that cool adventure because now it's so easy. It's like you can go on your laptop and you're like everything's at your fingertips. But that adventure, it makes such a memory for me that I will forever remember that. You know what I mean? It's going to be, "When was the first time you saw?" "Oh, I think I clicked on something. And that was it." It's over. Mine was a journey of driving down there with my group of friends. And it's a whole story. You can make a movie or a short out of that experience. And now, if you make a short out of your first time seeing porn, it could be over in two seconds.
Liz:
I know. I actually think we should encourage people to be looking at reading erotic literature, looking at magazines or listening to erotica or something just to give the visual stimuli a break in your brain because I think we're so conditioned now with people looking at online porn. That arousal response pattern, I think has gotten a little fucked. But speaking of homoerotica, so I love the movie of What We Do in the Shadows, and I love your show also.
Harvey:
Yay!
Liz:
But I think like vampires are really homoerotic, no? Especially the vampires in your show.
Harvey:
Well, all the vampires in our show are... They're all queer. They're all pansexual. And so, someone was talking about the other day, they're like, "Wow, you're the only show that all the characters are pretty much queer that's a mainstream show, I guess, if you will, on a network." Aside from The L Word or a show like that that primarily have queer characters.
But our show isn't based on queer vampires; they just happen to be queer. It's like their storyline's not like their struggles or their lives is not like, "Oh, because they are queer, they're having a hard time." It's like, "No, they're vampires. That's their first thing. And they happen to be queer. And it's part of their DNA of what makes them." And so, it's never a topic of like, "Should they be ridiculed, or should they be prosecuted because of their sexual preference?" That's never a topic. They're just who they are. And the story just flows with it. It's like that's who they are.
And it should be like that, I think for everyone in everyday life. It's like your sexuality's who you are. And it shouldn't be something that someone holds against you, whether it's your employer or your friends or anyone. Everyone has the right to live the life they want to live. And I feel we do a good job with vampires as our shield to show that that's possible.
Liz:
Yeah. It's also very kink-friendly, I feel. The show is very kink and fetish-friendly. Your relationship, in season one at least, with Nandor who's like your master. It's like very master and submissive kind of at first, right?
Harvey:
Yeah. I think that working with Kayvan, who plays Nandor, he's so good. He's such a giving actor that we always walk that tightrope. It's always like art because it has to be played really, really well. Otherwise, it just lapses onto one side. Either it becomes very "Definitely, they are secretly banging or... " It's has to be like, "Are they or aren't they?" And there's always that tension. And also it could be misinterpreted as master and servant. And it's always teetering on like, "But maybe they're doing?" and, "What does he want?" and, "Does he like him?" So, I like the way that it's been unfolding in season one.
And then even in season two, we have more of that to come, which is nice just because, as an actor, you don't want to just give it all away or shoot your load, if you will, at once and then go, "Where do you go from there?" It's like it's the teasing and the foreplay, if you will, that is sometimes more exciting.
Liz:
Yeah. And it's interesting too because I feel like normally, when we see vampires, they're so associated with white characters, like Interview With a Vampire and the Twilight series. I mean, it's really nice to see different types of vampires out there.
Harvey:
Yeah. And into all kinds of things, like you said. We had our orgy episode in the first season, where it's a huge deal. And, again, it's just an open dialogue. It's not a taboo thing. It's like every year, there's a huge orgy, and someone throws the orgy. It's like that's just part of their life. It's not taboo.
And I love the way that the writers address all that because I know people who have gone to orgies or have had a group sex thing. And they say it with such like, "I went to... " It's like, "Well, if you're going to talk about it, just talk about it, I guess. Don't be so like, 'It was a one-time thing.'" Well, everyone is sexual and experiments. And I don't think that's a bad thing. So, it's like just as long as you're being safe and your moral compass is on the right track, then you're okay.
Liz:
I know you're also really vocal about inclusivity in all areas. And one thing you've talked about a lot is how Hollywood deals with size and inclusivity, and being offered roles that are fat friend, fat guy number two. I'm curious, there's been so much reflection shown on Hollywood, and how people need to clean up their act to become more conscious or politically correct. How much do you think that that has changed?
Harvey:
I think it's changing, and I think we have a long way to go, but I do remember when I first started auditioning and stuff, I would literally go in for roles in the description, they didn't even bother to give the character a name. It was just fat guy. And it was just like, "At least be subtle about it. Give him a name and then an age and then be like, 'Plus size, a little bit extra pounds.'" It's in the wording. You're a writer. Try to come up with a better description of this character than it's like so fat. And it was the wording that was like...
Sometimes I'd get the description, and my agent would pitch it to me as like, "Oh, yeah, he's a young guy. He's one of the best friends. He's funny. He's this and that." And I was like, "Oh, that sounds great." And then you'd get the actual sides for it. And then across the top, it would just be like fat guy as the character. It wouldn't even have a name. He would milk it up so then I would be more willing to be like, "Yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah, I want to do it." And then when you go and you're looking at it, you're like, "Oh, even my agent's lying to me because he wants me to work obviously and he wants to get paid." And I get paid if he gets paid and vice versa.
I was just surprised that writers wouldn't even think to give these... To them, the character or the fat guy was just fat guy. And it's just not a description that would have been worth your while to give an extra two lines of description for that character to maybe encourage that actor to come in. And even though you know what you want physically, you could want what you want physically for this character, you don't necessarily have to label that as a one-word description for their whole story arc. It's like it doesn't make sense to me.
Liz:
It's lazy. It's laziness. Yeah, I think it's something that gets reinforced at a very early age, that kids, if they're plus size then you have to be funny. It's like that's the role.
Harvey:
Right, right. Or the best friend. And it's hard because I kind of played that role. Growing up, I was the funny guy. But I didn't mind being the funny guy because I like to make people laugh and I like entertaining people. So, that would've been, I think, an added pressure if I didn't enjoy that because I knew at six years old that I wanted to entertain. So, just luck would have it that I wanted to do that. And thank the gods that I was decent at it and I could do it and get trained and become better at it. But a lot of kids do feel the pressure to be the funny fat friend.
But I remember also the reason I left my first agent was because the conversation that we had eventually was I wanted to go out for parts that were more meatier, if you will. And I said, "I want to go out for those roles." And they're like, "Well, you're never going to be the lead. You know that, right?" And this was an actual conversation that I was having with my agent. And I was like, "You're supposed to be my biggest supporter. You're supposed to be in love with me. And the second that you're not in love with me, then what are we doing? I want a divorce. If you stop loving me, whether it's a relationship or a business relationship, we're supposed to be in love with each other. We're working together on something. And the second you're no longer in love with that other person, then leave the relationship. There's no reason you should be in it longer because if you're in it any more than you are, you're in it for the wrong reasons. You're in it for financial. You're in it for status. You're in it for whatever. But you're not in it for the right reasons, which is we started this relationship because we are each other's biggest supporters. And we're no longer each other's biggest supporters, so let's move on our way."
Liz:
I also, for me personally, being told no is probably my biggest fuel. I love being told no, and that something's not possible. It just makes me 150% more want to prove people wrong.
Harvey:
Yeah. That's been my whole motto growing up when people told me all those no's. And I guess I should thank them because all those no's have led up to this. But in a way, it's like be kinder to people. It's like let them live their fucking life and let them live their dream. There's no reason to dimmer someone's light. It's not going to make your light any brighter.
Liz:
Yeah. That's true. I'm really bothered right now. We just did a post on The Sex Ed Instagram about this the other day. I've been super bothered by all the fat shaming memes that are going around during this quarantine because I think that a lot of people don't understand one, that having access to an abundance of food is a privilege; it's not the norm. And it also reinforces this idea that there's some sort of ideal body type. And I actually am seeing this a lot in the straight-white-queer community, these kinds of fat shaming memes going around. It's-
Harvey:
Oh yeah. It's so surprising for a community that's so like, "Love is love. Love is love. Love... Ew! Get away from me, you fat... " It's so funny to me that for a community they always prides itself in like, "We love everyone. You should be able to love who you love as long as you're thin, as long as you're Adonis, as long as you're tall, as long as you're blonde, as long as you're blue-eyed." I was like, "Wait, what was that chant you just said?" "Love is love. Love is love. Love... As long as you look like Hercules, as long as you have a six pack, as long as you have pecs." And it's like, "I'm sorry, I'm getting lost with this chant that you keep screaming." "Oh, yeah, it's easy. Love is love, except when I don't like you because you're fat and you're short and you're Mexican." These are the chants that really are being yelled out sometimes by the community, which really kind of saddens me because being part of that community sometimes it's like, "Come on, guys. We can do better than that." It's like, "Stop doing that." Yeah, it's really disheartening sometimes to watch it.
Liz:
What would be your dream project to produce?
Harvey:
My dream project to produce... I would want to do a romantic comedy where the lead is me, and it's an everyday lifestyle, and they just happen to be queer, but they also have a struggle that anyone can relate to and it's not the focus of like, "Man, they're having a hard time because they're queer and because... " It's like, "No." It's like make it just having a hard time, that they got over it, and they found the love of their life, and then things sometimes work out. Maybe it doesn't work out because, guess what? Everyone can relate to that. So, I feel like that would be a dream project for me. Or to play a superhero and be a plus-size superhero and it's not something that's even like, "Whoa! Superhero at that size? I don't know. That's kind of... " It's like, "No, superhero at any size, I'll kick your ass."
Liz:
I feel like you're pretty close to playing a superhero because you play a lot of supernatural characters. So, not too far away for you, I think.
Harvey:
We got to start with a sprinkling everywhere, like stepping stones. And I feel this year, in the season with Guillermo on the show, the episode that just aired was a huge stunt episode. And I'm hitting the gym three, four times a day... I mean, three or four times a day. Three or four times a week when I was shooting the show, and personal trainer to get that upper body strength. And so, there's this idea of like, "Well, he's not going to ever do it," or maybe like... And then when you see it happen, you're like that stuff, I'm doing like 99% of my stunts. So, it's like, for me, it was kind of like a, "Yes, we can do it. I can show you that I can do it. And once we do it, someone else like me is going to be able to do it. So, let's do it."
Liz:
Yeah. What are you still learning about sex?
Harvey:
I'm still learning that there's always a different feeling with sex because of the person. When you think of just tangible and penetration or touch, it changes. And it not evolves, but it's a different version every time we do it, if it's with a different person, because it's all different. It's the formula's different. The pheromones are different. The build is different. The connection's different. So, it should never feel same or familiar, for lack of a better word, because it should always feel new and exciting. And even with your partner, it feels different if you make it feel different and if you find something new every time. So, I try to find something new feeling-wise to connect to sex.
Liz:
How do you find something new every time if you've been with someone for a long time?
Harvey:
I think if you've been with someone... And I've only been in long-term relationships for no longer than two years, so I haven't really had... I mean, two years is a long time, but you find something-
Liz:
But that's still in the lust phase. That's still in the lust phase in that two-year period because it's like that sort of transition from the drug state of sex with someone to long-term, it doesn't happen until year four.
Harvey:
Yeah. So, see, I don't think I've been to that world yet. So, for me, that's why I guess I'm so bright-eyed and bushy-tail about it. It's like, "It's great every time you do it because it's wonderful" and then because I haven’t gotten fourth-year moment and so I'm living in that two-year window until I find that person that I can pass that to window for, I'm going to be, "It's wonderful and I always find it really enjoyable."
Liz:
Well, thank you so much for talking to me.
Harvey:
Well, thanks for having me. This was fun.
Liz Outro:
That was my conversation with Harvey Guillén. You can stream seasons 1 and 2 of What We Do In The Shadows on Hulu. Harvey can be found on Instagram and Twitter @HarveyGuillen. That’s H A R V E Y G U I L L E N.
Once again, a huge thank you to GUCCI for sponsoring this episode. You can find all things GUCCI via their website, GUCCI.com, and on instagram, @GUCCI.
Until next time, you can read exclusive content on TheSexEd.com, follow us on instagram @TheSexEd, and listen to past episodes anywhere podcasts are streamed. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Sex Ed is hosted by me, Liz Goldwyn. This episode was recorded and edited by Jeremy Emery and produced by Chloe Cassens. Lewis Lazar made all of our music, including the track you’re listening to right now.
As always, The Sex Ed remains dedicated to expanding your orgasmic health and sexual consciousness.