Alice Little: Taking Down the Whorearchy, Legalized Sex Work & Sex Tips
Podcast Transcript Season 2 Episode 35
Interviewer: Liz Goldwyn
Illustration BY Black Women Animate
This week’s guest is Alice Little—likely the top earning legal sex worker in America, where she isthe #1 luxury companion at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Alice holds degrees in psychology, sociology, physiology, and anatomy and is an advocate for legalized sex work and education. Alice and Liz talk about the logistics of legalized sex work, from licenses to law enforcement; the cornucopia of services she offers and clients she sees, and why we need to take down the whorearchy. Liz also asked her for tips on some of the most requested topics from the Sex Ed community!
The following is a transcript of the interview from the episode:
Liz Goldwyn:
Thank you for talking to me today Alice.
Alice Little:
Thank you so much for having me. It's really a pleasure to get a chance to chat with you.
Liz Goldwyn:
You are a very busy business woman. You have multi-pronged work that you do from podcasts to YouTube, to your writing and your sex work. So I'm curious how do you prioritize your time in terms of admin, basic admin and running all your businesses, versus helping to administer one to one erotic experiences?
Alice Little:
When you run a small business, you are your own boss. So that means that you really have to be on top of accomplishing the things that you need to.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is take a look at my daily to do list. Okay, today I've got to update my blog. I need to use them social media scheduling. I need to respond to some YouTube comments. I need to schedule out the next YouTube video. I need to make plans for my Coffee with Alice show. Let me double check my appointment notes for the day. Then I get my day started from there.
Liz Goldwyn:
How many appointments do you have per day usually at the Bunny Ranch?
Alice Little:
Just one. I choose to only see one guest each day. This way I'm able to give them 110% of my focused energy.
Liz Goldwyn:
I had heard you don't typically do hour bookings anymore, that you prefer to do a date experience or an overnight experience.
Alice Little:
That is correct. Many of my guests are looking for much more than just sex. They're looking for a genuine connection, and that's something that takes time. Many of my experiences start by going out to a romantic meal, having a shared conversation and simply getting to know each other as people before venturing back to my suite and exploring each other sexually.
Liz Goldwyn:
You earned a lot of money in 2018. Do you set financial yearly goals? And have you reached what you want to hit this year or quarter? Do you keep yourself accountable in that way as a businesswoman?
Alice Little:
You're so funny. I don't care about the money. That's not why I do this. I do have a hold on my financial goals, but that's hardly my priority. My focus is on increasing my own education so I'm better able to serve my guests rather than being focused on profit margins or "Are my sales numbers up?" No, that's not what this is about. For me, it's about being able to genuinely give myself to people in an honest fashion. So I think if I were really to be hardcore focused on the money, I wouldn't be able to really serve my guests as well.
I'm financially stable. I have multiple investments at this point. So if I wanted to retire tomorrow, I absolutely could. Every day that I go to work is a choice for me.
Liz Goldwyn:
To explain to listeners where you work at the Bunny Ranch is a very different situation in terms of the infrastructure that's set up there. For example, I think 50% of each appointment goes to the house to take care of that infrastructure.
Alice Little:
That is correct. It is an industry standard, it's a 50/50 split between the sex worker and the brothel location that she works under. Here in the state of Nevada, legal sex workers must work underneath a brothel license. You cannot obtain a brothel license because there are already existing locations and they are not giving out additional licenses at this time. So what that looks like as a sex worker choosing to enter the legal industry picks whatever location that she's interested in working at, applies online, and then goes through the employment process therein.
I'm unique in the sense that my horses actually live at the Bunny Ranch. I have two horses that stay here at the property completely free of charge. You figure they had the staple facilities. And after Dennis' horses passed away, it was just sending in there like, "Hey, you might as well keep your horses here." And I'm like, "Hey, I might as well do that. That makes a lot of sense."
We have the gym on the property. We have a full setup with a kitchen. They bring us food every single day, and they have the restaurant down the road. They cook a hot meal every single day on top of having breakfast, and salad options, and soup, and fridges so we're able to store leftovers. We've got all sorts of plugin appliances so we can cook for ourselves. All that's provided as a part of the cost that you give up when you choose to work at this location.
50% is a lot. In my case last year, that looked like almost $600,000. That is a ton of money. But at the same time, what other choice do I have? If I want to work legally, this is the system that has been created at this point.
Liz Goldwyn:
Well, I do think we need to change the paradigm and the system. When I've always thought about, I'm not doing this now. But in my fantasy of having a brothel, I always thought to operate it like a private club. The way members club do. So you charge your clients an annual fee just to walk in the door. And then anything else on top of that is an extra service. Whether it's sex work, or meals, or their drinks. I would give complimentary laundry services, pants pressing, shoe shine. You could house your wines.
Alice Little:
thank God I don't have to do my own laundry. that is a tremendous benefit of working at the brothels. Yeah, I'm definitely willing to give up a few thousand dollars to not have to wash all those goddamn sheets. Very, very grateful for somebody else to do the towels and the sheets for me you figure. But again, here at the brothel, depending on the type of experience you choose, you can actually get a complimentary bottle of champagne or wine with your experience. We have multiple suites on their property for guests to stay if they're having multiple experiences over several days. So we do have some amenities that are similar to that.
Liz Goldwyn:
A lot of people unfortunately don't have that privilege getting into sex work. Right? Their bottom line is the money, is putting food on the table.
Alice Little:
That is correct. And many people do choose to enter this industry for the money. And you figure, I think that's all the wrong reasons to enter this world. It's first and foremost a caring profession. We are caregivers, providers. No one becomes a provider to get rich quick. That's the wrong kind of mindset entering into this space. You figure if you want to get rich quick, join a Ponzi scheme. There is no get rich quick schemes on the planet anymore that are genuine and honest.
So I believe that success comes through the longterm energy investment in this industry. Cultivating and investing in those relationships with your guests and kind of building your business up that way. If you're focused on getting as much money as you can, as quick as you can, you're not going to find a lot of success in this world because you're not actually caring about the guests.
Liz Goldwyn:
I guess it's totally different ways to look at it. Like for example on the first ever episode we did for this podcast was with a third generation sex worker, who was literally born into it. Her grandmother was a sex worker, her mother was a sex worker. Doesn't use the term sex worker. Coming at it from in a different place from someone like you who's holding multiple degrees in psychology, sociology, physiology, anatomy, and looking at it as a service industry. I think that's something that we're lucky in the 21st century in post-feminism to be able to look at this industry through that lens.
Alice Little:
Yes. It's really important to acknowledge that as a privilege. Legal sex work only exists in one of 50 states. And even then it's not state wide. It's only in specific counties and only within the legal brothels. There are between 20 and 22 licensed brothels at this time. There are two that are undergoing renovations. I'm not 100% sure if they have reopened yet for applications. But as a result of that, there's so many women interested in entering this world, that oftentimes there's actually wait lists where ladies have to wait multiple months before they get the opportunity to work legally. So I work in an incredibly limited profession, and I'm incredibly, incredibly privileged within that profession too.
Liz Goldwyn:
Are there any female brothel owners in Nevada that you know of?
Alice Little:
There are so many women that own brothels. My location, the Moonlite Bunny Ranch is actually owned by a woman.
Liz Goldwyn:
Madam Suzette?
Alice Little:
Yes. It was previously owned by Dennis Hof, who had had the bunny ranch for 30 plus years since 1992. He actually owned up to seven brothels at one point in time both in the northern as well as southern sections of the state. When he passed this past October, he left everything to Madam Suzette, a woman that he was not having sex with, was not married to, was not even dating. But simply the woman who had served as his right hand man throughout his own career. And he saw so much value within that, that he decided to leave everything to her.
That's incredible. I think it's really interesting because now we get to see the Bunny Ranch through a truly female perspective where the owner is female, the industry is female, the cashiers are female. It's an incredibly feminist and empowering environment.
Liz Goldwyn:
One of the trade offs obviously besides giving 50% of your appointment to the house to pay for overhead, is there's also a lot of logistical components of being a legal sex worker like a weekly doctor visit. You have to get your yearly official papers from the sheriff's offices.
Alice Little:
It's actually involve a scale FBI fingerprint background check. It is incredibly, incredibly involved.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah. And we know that the many sex workers across America and across the U.S. have a very healthy distress of law enforcement. Whereas you're right there having to go in and submit to these checks.
Alice Little:
Not only do we have to submit to those checks, but we have to have our doors open and available for the police to be able to come visit and do an inspection, check out our work licenses at any points in time that they so choose. That's a part of the reality of participating in a legal regulated system. There's laws and legislation that have to be abided by.
You have to account for taxes. That accounts for approximately 33% of my income also has to go to taxes after the 50% cut. So there's a lot of logistical things that really do come into play.
Liz Goldwyn:
And the trade-off is you're protected, you're not going to go to jail. You have system in place to vet clients who you know are abusive or sticking to things that you do want to do. You have room and board. You are an advocate for legalized sex work. And we know that again, if we take the way it works currently in America, that it is a privilege. What do we do about all of the millions of other people who are out there engaged in on legal sex work and how do laws like FOSTA and SESTA impact your business and other women who you see in this space?
Alice Little:
Am I okay to curse on this podcast? Because pardon my language here, but SESTA and FOSTA fucking sucks. It's literally killing my coworkers. Literally killing people. It is the most disgusting set of legislation that I have ever thoroughly researched. The language within it is so incredibly vague, that it's resulted in a multitude of issues for sex workers.
Liz Goldwyn:
Let's break down what FOSTA and SESTA are for those listeners who aren't familiar with these bills.
Alice Little:
FOSTA and SESTA stands for Stop Online Sex Trafficking Act or Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act. The two terms are used interchangeably to describe a set of bills that were passed into law this previous year that further criminalized the sex work world. Essentially, it forced websites to be held responsible for the content that their users were posting, and allowed websites to be sued by their users if they believed they had been trafficked illegally through that website. Essentially, it said that consensual sex work does not and cannot exist, and therefore we are going to put a stop to this. Under the guise of calling it human trafficking.
Alice Little:
Sex work is consensual work. When somebody chooses to enter this industry of their own free will and volition, I believe they should have the right to do so. It's their body. They're not hurting themselves or anyone else. It's their right to do what they please. In the eyes of the law, consensual sex work does not exist. An assumption is made that all sex work must be victims, or trafficked, or forced, or coerced. It's a part of the larger narrative where we be little women and say that we don't know ... it's a part of a larger narrative where we essentially say that women in our society don't know what's best for them. They don't know their bodies, they don't know their hearts and minds. They don't have the ability to consent. And it's really unfortunate.
Liz Goldwyn:
The big issue is it's conflating sex and sex work. And what FOSTA and SESTA have done is there is a whisper, just the same way we've had a whisper network among women for thousands of years about certain people to stay away from because they're going to coerce you into doing things. There's the same kind of whisper network in sex work. And a lot of that, like for example Backpage being shut down is people look out for each other. And it's not in any person who willingly enters into sex work is not at all interested in aligning themselves with sex trafficking. And in fact, they can help law enforcement I've found, with victims of sex trafficking. Locate those people. So when you enact these FOSTA and SESTA to shut down websites for example, then you're putting sex workers into danger.
Alice Little:
It's true. Non only did Backpage go away, but all of the black lists went away as well. In the criminalized sex work world, bad date lists were maintained. So if somebody violated a sex worker's consent, they didn't have the ability to go and abuse another sex worker. They were essentially banned from participating in that system.
Obviously, that's not something I have to worry about so much in my world. But by all means, I can't ignore the fact that half of my industry, more than half of my industry, let's be real. The majority of my industry is criminalized at this point in time. Legal sex work in Nevada makes up probably 0.001% of all consensual sex work that's actually happening in America right now. It's the reason why I'm not just campaigning for legalization. I'm actually campaigning for legalization and decriminalization. I believe that we need both. Much in the same way that when marijuana was legalized, it also became decriminalized, where we saw the charges being taken off of people. We saw those things being reversed. We saw the fact that people aren't being charged for street based sales anymore. You figure by creating a legal system, those that choose not to follow that legal system, that's up to them. But they're not going to be endangered anymore. They're not going to have those laws there criminalizing them.
The reality is that sex work exists at multiple different levels there. There's consensual sex work from those that choose to do it as a career. And there's also survival sex work. Those that feel they don't have another option that do know this world, that may or may not be in a healthy financial place, that may need to this work. Whether or not they would prefer not to long term. You figure they still have the ability to consensually do this work no matter what their situation is. And our job as legislators isn't to direct with morality. It's to write laws based off of what's best for people. And minimizing risk by decriminalizing sex work and creating a nationally legal system for people to participate in a safe way is the most valuable thing that we could do to be allies to sex workers.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah. I find even the terms ... so we use the term sex work to encompass everything from the adult industry, to camming, to stripping, to burlesque, to what used to be called prostitution commonly. But I love to use this term the whorearchy.
Alice Little:
Yes. Down with the whorearchy. Down with the whorearchy. I hate the whorearchy. It's such, again pardon my French, it's such bullshit. It's unnecessary and it only tears people down instead of raising each other up. The whorearchy for those that aren't familiar with it is the conceptualization that the less contact you have with clients, the more privileged or "better" you are. So like a phone sex operator is "better" than a cam girl, who's "better" than a porn star, who's "better" than a sex worker or a full service sex worker. You figure previously, the term prostitute has been used. I really don't like that term. I think at some point in time, the community needs to reclaim the word prostitute and redefine it. Because right now, even in the dictionary, that word contains a lot of bundled stigma. It's one of the reasons that I choose not to refer to myself as a prostitute, but instead prefer the term legal sex worker, luxury companion. Or full service sex worker. All of those are terms that I'm incredibly comfortable with, and that's the language that I choose to use when I self-describe myself.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah, definitely I am not down with the whorearchy, and I agree down with the whorearchy.
Alice Little:
Yes, it needs to go away. Because at the end of the day, it's a community. We are a sex work community. Educators, phone sex operators, porn stars, burlesque dancers, strippers, full service sex workers, street based sex workers, luxury companion. We are all one in the same, and we need to start being there for each other. We need to start caring about each other, and we need to start campaigning for each other too. Phone sex operation is completely legalized at this point in time. I believe that phone sex operators have an obligation to the community that is criminalized to campaign on their behalf. Because those that are in the most marginalized sectors of our community are also the ones that face the most risk by advocating for themselves. If you are a criminalized sex worker, how in the world can you go on national television and give an interview with your name and your face, knowing full well that you're risking arrest? You can't do that. So I feel obligated as a legal sex worker who has the license to do this job. I need to speak on behalf of the women who don't have the privilege of getting in front of a camera or appearing on a podcast like this one. You figure they may not be able to take that level of risk whereas I'm able to do so.
Liz Goldwyn:
So are you coming to this space with a mission then? Is that what was in your mind when you-
Alice Little:
No questions asked about it. There was an agenda. All capital letters, bold and italicized. There definitely is a long term goal for me to bring sex work, legal sex work out of Nevada and into the other 49 states. I'll be happy and satisfied when there are brothels from coast to coast. In a perfect world, I see us following a system that's similar to that of the New Zealand model, where they allow for both brothel work as well as individual licensed work too. By having the maximum amount of options, you give the women choice and Freedom. Therefore, if they don't want to give 50% of their income to work within a brothel situation, they're not required to do so. At this time, the only way for me to work legally is under the guise of a legal brothel. I don't have the ability to go out and obtain an individual license. That's really unfortunate. It's problematic, and it's something that I very much so intend to do something about.
Liz Goldwyn:
What would be your dream role? Would you want to have a brothel? Would you want to work as an individual licensed sex worker?
Alice Little:
My ultimate goal is to establish a series of brothels that are co-opt locations owned and managed by the women themselves where they are paying a percentage of their income to the house itself to essentially take care of the physical property. Cover the salaries of the bartenders, and housekeepers, and cashiers. Cover the costs for the liquor license. But much in the same way that there are co-opt grocery stores where all of the participants get to share in the profits, I believe it should be the same way with sex workers too.
I had the opportunity recently to learn about a co-opt brothel that actually exists right now in Thailand. It's owned by the women, and the women profit from it. There is no middleman taking a percentage. You figure they're in complete control. That's a beautiful and wonderful thing, and I absolutely appreciate that system. And you figure that's something I'd like to work too long term.
Liz Goldwyn:
Shifting focus a little bit from the business aspect of it to the intimate aspect of it. On this show, we talk a lot about communication. And whether that means defining what turns you on, what you want to do, what you don't want to do, knowing your boundaries. I imagine that you must spend a lot of time on that with clients given your sex ed interest.
Alice Little:
When I decided to create my logo, I picked three words that I thought were the three pillars that really represented what I do. I picked connection, communication, and intimacy. Connection and communication are intrinsically linked. And in this world, intimacy very much so factors into that. That means that you have to know what your limits and boundaries are, as well as have the ability to communicate them effectively to your partner. Oftentimes that looks like modeling that behavior for my guests, where I start by sharing my own limitations and boundaries and help setting the stage for them to be able to open up and share honestly their own desires, their needs and wants, and be able to have that safe space where it's okay to talk about sex. It's okay to say, "Hey, my neck is really sensitive, but I'm also really ticklish. So please don't put your hands in my armpits. But if you want to touch my nipples, they're also super sensitive. Please do that." You can have a conversation with that, just like that. Literally just that easily.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah. I think people think that sex just happens. A lot of times I hear, "Well it's not sexy if you talk about it." But actually, it can be very sexy to talk about what you'd like to do to someone else or have be done to you. Do you find yourself having in that situation a lot where you're with clients that have never been asked these things or can't communicate with their partners?
Alice Little:
Yes. In many ways, I work a lot with virgins that particularly want to have a good first experience, because they've seen all of these horrendous models that are put out there by Hollywood and TV, that aren't really representative of what consensual sex is. You figure we aren't modeling healthy sex for people. Pornography isn't doing it. Hollywood isn't doing it. TV isn't doing it. How in the world are people supposed to learn this skill.
Oh wait, sex education. But only in 13 of the 50 states does sex education even require to be scientifically accurate. And most schools opt to only teach abstinence instead of actually teaching about pleasure. Therefore, there is nowhere for people to go.
I very much so view sex workers as being the correct resource. We are intimacy educators, we are intimacy leaders. They're able to help people get those experiences, make those situations happen, give them that education so they can go out into the world and have fruitful, beneficial, healthy relationships, and find happiness.
Liz Goldwyn:
What's the age range of the clients who are coming who are virgins? Are they younger, or are you finding them the older versions?
Alice Little:
I've been with 18 year old virgins, I've been with 60 year old virgins. I've been with 40 year old virgins. I was with someone who was 80 years old who had never had sex before. There is a tremendous spectrum. There is no right age to lose it. There is no wrong age to lose it. It's when you are ready, and that is an individual journey. So I very much so work with virgins that are at all ages, 18 and up of course. I do discriminate against minors. Minors, not welcome here. Sorry, come back when you're 18. But other than that, I don't discriminate based off of race, based off of sexual orientation, based off of gender, based off of gender expression, based off of if they're intersex, they're trans, they're straight, or whatever they want to be. I welcome and accept everyone for who they are. Who cares if you're a bit obese, who cares if you're too skinny, who cares if you have acne? I don't. That's not what I'm focused on. I'm interested in getting to know who someone is, and helping them learn more about themselves so they can better have an understanding of who they are and what they want.
Liz Goldwyn:
So do you work with a lot of couples or women then?
Alice Little:
I love couples and women. I work with many couples that have never had a threesome before but are interested in opening up their relationship. And I also work with couples that are interested in simply improving intimacy within their own relationship, or I'm coaching them through the sexual experience rather than an active participant. I work with women who are bisexual, who have never had the opportunity to sleep with a woman before and actually explore their bisexuality, because they ended up being in a relationship with a man. I have straight women that have never gone shopping for a sex toy. They never learned how to masturbate. Who have never even had an orgasm before. Literally, this is the reality. There are dozens, hundreds, potentially millions of women out there that have never had an orgasm. Just wrap your mind around that for a second here. there are million of women out there that have never gotten to have an orgasm before. Coming to a legal brothel is a way to empower themselves sexually to make that happen, to get that experience that they missed out on.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah, we unfortunately do know over here at the Sex Ed that millions of women have never had a had an orgasm. It's-
Alice Little:
Yeah. And it's like, let me just say any women who are listening right now, if you want to do something about that. Hi, I'm here. It's safe to email me. Everything's 100% discreet. No one will ever know you were ever here at all, whatsoever. But it's your opportunity to learn. It's a safe place.
I always tell people my email is wide open for questions. If there's anything you need to know or want help with, by all means, I am very, very willing to help.
Liz Goldwyn:
Do you charge for that service for if someone does a Skype?
Alice Little:
No, not at all. I actually have a YouTube series on my channel. I would [inaudible 00:35:45] YouTube. I do a section called Ask a Sex Worker where I invite people to simply in the comments ask anything they want to about communication, intimacy, sex, sex work, etc. And I just answer the questions honestly. I unfold the questions out of the box and answer them on the spot with no prior planning.
Liz Goldwyn:
And I know you also offer discounts for people who are public servants, like police officers, service members, doctors, or nurses. Where does that come from?
Alice Little:
Yes. I actually was an EMT in New York City myself for not a terribly long time. Unfortunately, after a very traumatic call involving multiple injured and dying minors due to gunshot wounds, I just really couldn't handle that career field longterm. Copious amounts of blood to make me squeamish. I almost passed out. I was not as useful as I should have been in that scenario. So I chose to bow out from that career field. It wasn't inappropriate for me and I have a tremendous amount of respect for anyone who has the capacity to fulfill that job.
Same thing with firefighters. I don't think I could run into a building that was on fire. I don't know if I could actually handle doing that. I don't know if I could handle getting into a cop car every single day and taking that risk, not knowing what's going to happen. I don't know if I could work in a hospital. I don't know if I could serve in the military. And I have so much respect for those that do choose to give in that way, but I think it's only fair that I give back to them too.
Liz Goldwyn:
So I would love it if you could give our listeners some suggestions on these commonly requested topics that we get from your point of view having I'm sure at this point, over 10,000 hours of experience with all sorts of sexual situations.
Alice Little:
Geez. You know, I've never thought about it in terms of hours. But wow, you're totally right. I probably have tens if not hundreds of hours of experience at this point. Wow. I guess I've never thought about it in that term because it's just my reality. I've never really taken the step back from it that way.
Liz Goldwyn:
How long have you been doing legal sex work? And even before that, not legal sex work.
Alice Little:
Well, I've never worked as a full service provider. But I had worked for five or six years as a traveling sex educator doing two to three events every single month, dedicating two to three days out of that month for those events. And for the past three years, I've been a full service sex worker full time. I have an average of 15 to 25 guests each month. For the first year and a half, I was not available by appointment only. So I did see more than one guest each day. So that's a lot of experience. I guess it does add up.
Liz Goldwyn:
So one of the things that we get asked a lot is about erection trouble. What do I do if I can't get hard? What do I do if my partner can't get hard, can't stay hard? And I'm sure you've come across many different variations of erection trouble before and could give some advice for people dealing with erection trouble as it happens. What do you do when confronted with that?
Alice Little:
I find that a lot of the time, it happens because you're getting too far in your head, and you're wanting it sort of badly to happen that you're putting that pressure on yourself. Sex is not about ejaculation. Sex is about the emotionality and the feeling behind it. You have to lean into the pleasurable experience. So if something isn't working, don't force it. You figure if your body's not responding to a hand job, hey that's okay. Maybe slow things down and go back to foreplay for a little bit. Lean into that feel good part of the experience before moving forward.
Alice Little:
For some people, there are underlying medical reasons for an ED condition. The reality is certain anti-anxiety medications, antidepressant medications, blood pressure medications, heart medications. There's a multitude of things that can potentially affect you sexually. The best thing you can do is talk to your doctor if you are on anything to make sure that it's not the result of a medication side effect, because that's going to be a little bit more difficult to treat organically.
I've also experienced working with CBD lube. CBD is an all natural way to be able to decrease anxiety. And oftentimes it works very effectively because the genitals are a mucus membrane. So therefore, they are able to absorb that CBD at a much faster rate than anything else.
Liz Goldwyn:
And I think maybe just to add here that if you're the person that's not dealing with the erection trouble, not to think that has anything to do with you and not to turn it into a, "I don't make you hard moment." Because that just compounds the anxiety around having the erection.
Alice Little:
Yeah. You figure that's not the focus. When you make it all about the erection, you have the inability to focus on anything else.
Liz Goldwyn:
Here's another one for you. What are your top tips for when you're working with someone for fellatio and cunnilingus?
Alice Little:
It really has to do with communication. Being willing to go down on your partner, try different things and say, "Hey, does this feel good to you? No? What about this? Does this feel better? So you like it that way." And then kind of mentally mapping out that person's pleasure chart so you're best able to connect with them and their body.
All partners are different in terms of what they like. All women are different in terms of what they like. So you figure there really is no universal advice because everyone is individual.
With that being said, really good general advice is less is more. Don't go super fast. Don't go super hard. Take your time and enjoy the sensation of it. Of course, if your partner wants you to go faster or harder, by all means you have that as an option?
Liz Goldwyn:
So you don't go on any hard or fast spit or swallow rules?
Alice Little:
That is correct. It's all based off of individuality.
Liz Goldwyn:
What about trouble orgasming, which can happen to us all. What's your advice with that? If you want to come, you're trying to come, but you just can't reach it. You can't reach that orgasm.
Alice Little:
A lot of the time that happens from rushed masturbation practices. And you figure taking some time to cool down a little bit, slow the process down and not go so frantic, can result in the orgasm being much more powerful. Again, if you're trying to force it to happen, you're increasing your anxiety level and you're actually taking yourself further away from the state of orgasm. Relax [inaudible 00:45:29], and if you're unable to achieve orgasm that time, that's okay. That does happen sometimes. There's no reason that you can't move on and perhaps get off at a later point in time if need be.
Liz Goldwyn:
How did you figure out what your hard nos were versus things you wanted to try? Was that an experience of trial and error, or are there certain things that you're like, "No, I definitely never want to try this."
Alice Little:
There's certain things that 100% I know I'm not comfortable with. For example, I really don't like the sensation of fluids or food being smeared and then licked off my body. That's a very common fetish called sploshing. I'm not really interested in that. If anything that's a turnoff for me. So I simply choose not to offer that service. If somebody asks about that service, I instead refer them to a provider that specifically does offer it. You figure if I've never tried something before and I feel like it's something I may enjoy, I'm always willing to try something a few times. And then if I discover something that I'm not genuinely interested in, I just simply don't have that experience again moving forward.
Liz Goldwyn:
Is there a huge menu at the Bunny Ranch with almost every fetish listed? I imagine that must be like a phone book of services.
Alice Little:
Yeah. Each experience is customized to the individual. So long as you have the capacity to explain and describe what it is you're genuinely looking for. Somebody is very likely to offer that service. I happen to offer a very complete menu of services. I do have my own website, thealicelittle.com where I do list out and describe all of the different things that I offer. As well as let people know they're always welcome to write prior about something specific and special. And as always, if there's something I'm not comfortable with, I simply decline and connect them with somebody that offers that particular service. But generally speaking, that very, very rarely happens because I'm a fairly open minded individual.
Liz Goldwyn:
As long as it's with consent and there are no minors involved, or animals because animals can't give consent.
Alice Little:
No animals, no minors, nothing illegal. No weapons, no drugs. All consensually, safely, and sanely.
Liz Goldwyn:
So just have one more question for you, Alice. What are you still learning about sex right now at this moment in time?
Alice Little:
Right now I'm really learning on how to be an ally and an advocate for others. This past summer I took on the mantle of being an advocate for legalized sex work in Lyon County. There was a vocal proposal that challenged the legality of the brothels here in my county, so I set up a series of educational events to go out and explain to the locals here's who we are, here's what we do. You've got the wrong idea. Let me explain and give you the true details and facts rather than someone else's opinion of that.
Now, I need to learn how to be an advocate to the rest of the community. I need to listen to their opinions, their stories, what are their needs, wants, and desires? How can I give more to them too?
I also want to be an advocate to my guests. There's lots of negative stereotypes about those who choose to see sex workers. I want to dismantle that stigma as well so this way people don't feel uncomfortable coming to have these experiences. Because there's nothing wrong with it. It's perfectly legal, perfectly safe, sane, and frankly is a lot of fun too.
Liz Goldwyn:
Well, thank you. I'm glad that you're doing something that you love and getting paid for it.
Alice Little:
Yes. And thank you so much for having me on this podcast. It has been such a pleasure chatting with you.